


Second Hand Emotion

by A_Diamond



Series: Camelot Drabble prompts [25]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Break Up, Communication Failure, Depression, M/M, Movie Star Arthur, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining Merlin, Protective Will, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, Waiter Merlin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-09-23 01:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9635306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Diamond/pseuds/A_Diamond
Summary: Merlin obviously thought they weren’t going to talk about it. “We’re talking about this,” Will informed him.





	1. Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Camelot Drabble Prompt: We Need to Talk

“So how does it work,” Will asked one night—morning—after Merlin slipped in looking worn out and despondent, “this bullshit thing between you and him?”

“Leave off,” Merlin told him without pausing on the way to his room. There was no bite to it, though; he sounded exhausted, and Will didn’t want to think about what had made his voice so hoarse.

࿋

Two days passed, during which Merlin hadn’t left or unlocked his room. When he finally emerged, Will only caught a glimpse of him on the way to the bathroom. The shower ran for a very long time, which Will couldn’t fault, given how long Merlin had been stewing—but they didn’t have that much hot water. Several minutes after the water shut off, Merlin appeared in the living room fully dressed and smiling. If Will didn’t know any better, he wouldn’t have even been able to see the bags under Merlin’s barely-red-rimmed-anymore eyes.

Merlin obviously thought they weren’t going to talk about it.

“We’re talking about this,” Will informed him.

Merlin’s smile dropped for a fraction of a second before returning, tighter and determined. “Nothing to talk about. I’m fine.”

“Bullshit you’re fine. If I go into your room right now, tell me I won’t find fucking bottles full of piss because you couldn’t drag yourself out of bed.”

Smile gone for good, Merlin looked away.

“Really, Merls, I’m just trying to understand what the hell it is you think you’re doing. He’s destroying you and you’re just... Getting it from a movie star isn’t worth the way he treats you.”

“It’s not like that. I don’t care he’s a movie star. And he doesn’t—he treats me well.”

“You come back miserable and covered in bruises!”

“Oh, that’s...” Merlin flushed bright red and suddenly Will knew what was coming. He desperately didn’t want to hear when Merlin said, “Just rough sex. It’s good. I like it,” he added, his voice a challenge despite the color in his cheeks.

Being a good, concerned friend, Will did not crawl into his own bed for two days to escape the mental images of exactly what his best friend since childhood, really more like a brother, was doing with award-winning heartthrob Arthur Pendragon. It wasn’t even taxing to his imagination: Arthur’s latest film had a lot of wildly athletic sex scenes, and replacing the female lead with Merlin was distressingly easy.

“Great,” he said instead of giving up in the face of his deep need to cringe away from those thoughts. “Good for you. And the rest of it?”

“It’s nothing to do with him.”

Will stared him down. He could’ve pointed out that Merlin’s appalling lack of being able to care for himself only surfaced after nights with Arthur, and that it had never happened at all before his best friend managed to catch the star’s eye waiting tables. Will had been happy enough for Merlin that time, despite thinking Arthur was an overrated actor. But then it kept happening, Merlin sneaking around to hook up with the famous closet case and feeling worse about himself each time, and Will was done with it.

He didn’t point that out, though; he didn’t need to. Merlin could never lie to him for long.

“Okay, it’s about him. But not his fault.”

“I don’t see how it could be anything but. Merls, I’ve seen you doing casual before. And if this... kinky stuff we never need to talk about again is what you’re into, then I assume that’s happened before, too. But you’ve never been like this, and I’m worried about you! Something about this is killing you, and if you’re not putting up with it for the fame, then—”

Everything crashed into place at once, leaving Will reeling for long enough that Merlin looked up and must have read his understanding on his face. Merlin turned away again, long past his pretense of cheer.

“Let it go, Will. Please.”

࿋

That was never going to happen. Not when Merlin fell into deeper and longer depressions with each of Arthur’s brief passes through town, every time he disappeared to satisfy Arthur’s sexual needs then get kicked out. Merlin was an idiot, and he’d gone and done the dumbest thing imaginable for a man in his situation—love should never enter into a habit of meaningless sex with one of England’s most eligible, flighty, and publically straight bachelors—but he was Will’s idiot. And Will wasn’t going to let him get hurt more than he had been.

But he couldn’t get that point across to Merlin, who was already so close to the breaking point.


	2. Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Camelot Drabble prompt: [Wait for It](https://genius.com/Lin-manuel-miranda-wait-for-it-lyrics)

Internet-stalking Arthur was the second least enjoyable activity Will could think of. The first, which he also did because friendship demanded sacrifice, involved googling a lot of terms that he had to try very hard to disassociate from Merlin.

Both those unpleasant tasks undertaken, he tracked down the rented mansion Arthur was supposedly staying at and jammed on the gate buzzer until a groggily irate voice demanded he “knock it the fuck off, Jesus bloody Christ what’s the matter with you?”

“Morning, wanker. We haven’t met, but you’re fucking around with someone very dear to me.”

“I don’t know who you think you’re talking to, but I’m not—”

“Arthur fucking Pendragon. I’m here about Merlin.”

A long silence followed.

“Look, we can talk or I can stand out here and make a scene until the paps come.”

The speaker turned off without another word. Will gave it a minute, but he was about to start following through on his promise and yelling up a storm when an extremely rumpled movie star stumbled out of the door. He regretted not having a decent camera on his phone; that photograph could have earned him thousands.

“Is something wrong with Merlin?” Arthur asked as soon as he reached the gate. To his credit, he sounded sincerely concerned—but that could’ve just been the threat of bad press.

“You. You are what’s wrong with Merlin, and you’re going to either fix it or fuck off.”

Arthur stared at him. Those pretty blue eyes made men and women swoon all over the world, but Will just saw bleariness, a bit of redness at the edges. Probably he’d been up all night doing God knew what with God knew who while Merlin wallowed.

“What are you talking about? What’s happened? He was fine when he left.”

Though the street was empty when Will glanced around, he still lowered his voice and leaned in closer to the bars. He didn’t give a toss about Arthur’s privacy, but he wouldn’t want to spread Merlin’s business around.

“He wasn’t fine after by the time he got home. He never is. You do your... kinky sex whatever bullshit, then you kick him to the curb without any sort of care and consideration, how do you figure that’s an all right thing to do to a person?”

Seeing the denial building on Arthur’s pretty face, he preempted it. “Don’t. I know, I’m the one who has to put him back together. Every. Time.”

“What Merlin and I do as consenting adults is none—”

Will’s palm slammed into the gate and set metal clanging against metal and stone. The noise echoed, resounding in the silence left behind when Arthur stopped mid-sentence.

“I don’t give a bloody fuck what the two of you do in bed. I’d be thrilled if I never had to think about it again. I’m talking about the fact that he’s goddamn in love with you and your inability to care about him after is killing him.”

Arthur’s award-winningly expressive face froze in an open-mouthed gape that wasn’t the least bit attractive. Admittedly, Will didn’t find him attractive to begin with, but even the most relentless Pendragonettes ought to’ve been put off by that stupid stare. Then he turned without a word and disappeared into the mansion.

Will left, too.

࿋

When he got back to the flat, Merlin waited with red-eyed fury.

“What did you do,” he demanded hoarsely. It was too flat to be a question. His phone blinked sporadically from the floor, its screen cracked. “Will, what the hell did you do.”

“What I had to as someone who loves you, Merls.”

“You have no right,” Merlin tried, and that was just too much.

“The fuck I don’t! You’re family. You’re all I’ve got, and I’m gonna look out for you whether you like it or not. He’s not good for you. He takes and he takes and he takes, and it’s leaving you with nothing.”

That silenced him, so Will asked, more gently, “What’d he say?”

Still sounding hollow, Merlin said, “That we shouldn’t see each other for a while,” which was expected. Then, “That he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore,” which wasn’t.

Leaving his cracked phone where it had fallen, Merlin shuffled towards his room. He hesitated in the doorway, supporting himself with a hand against the wall, and Will gave him the moment. It seemed like he was hovering on the edge of something important, so Will was willing to wait for it.

The words, when they came, were soft and shattered. Will barely heard them before Merlin shut the door, but he did and they stunned him.

“That he loves me.”


	3. Public

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Camelot Drabble prompt: Potential

When Arthur, or more accurately Arthur’s publicist, announced less than a week later that he was taking a break between projects for “personal reasons,” the tabloids exploded with speculation: _Rehab! Pregnant girlfriend! Pregnant hooker! Secret Hollywood deal!_

For all Will knew, every single rumor was true. He didn’t give a shit, except that he’d only just managed to bully Merlin through a shower and putting on actual clothes. He even got him out of the flat with the promise of his favorite pancakes. They got halfway down the block, then Merlin saw Arthur’s face splashed over half a dozen different rags and fled back inside.

Will brought him back pancakes anyway, though he didn’t hold out much hope for Merlin eating them.

The one thing all the disparate stories agreed on was that the young actor was wasting his potential. A promising career on the verge of ruin. Missed casting opportunities, spurned directors, an inescapable reputation as a diva—which Will was fairly certain he’d had anyway. To add to the ire of journalists and fans alike, no more updates came from Arthur’s team.

After the first week, with nothing new to feed the frenzy, most of the press moved on. The _Sun_ would always be the _Sun,_  and tried keep up flagging interest with a new “Arthur’s Secret Life Exposed!” every other day, but none of them involved kinky gay sex. It figured they’d miss it the one time it was actually true. Part of Will, a small but bitterly vengeful part, still considered selling him out. Not for the money, though it would've been nice to have since Merlin wasn’t helping with the rent. He just wanted Arthur to suffer at least a fraction of what he’d put Merlin through.

But he couldn’t risk getting Merlin caught up and dragged into it, especially when he was finally starting to pull himself out of the depressed hole he’d been in since his last night with Arthur. He had a new phone, which Will checked every night and had only had to remove Arthur’s number from once. Merlin had it memorized, he could always just add it back, but as one month of no contact from Arthur became two—and Will made sure he knew the number, too, for very different reasons—Will started to relax about it.

Merlin had been justifiably sacked from his serving gig after not showing up for way too many shifts on a row, but getting back on wasn’t hard. The owner was a soft touch who also happened to be Merlin’s maternal uncle, so a bit of grovelling got him back in Gaius’s good graces. Or at least his marginally less skeptical graces.

࿋

“Want to go out?”

Will had to stop and process that a second time, just to be sure he’d heard right. It sounded the same on his internal playback. He turned, and sure enough, Merlin stood in the door to his room in not just clothes, but good clothes. Nice, but not too nice. Clubbing clothes.

Getting laid clothes.

Will’s mate was back, and Will was gonna be the best wingman he’d ever been. Things were looking up.


	4. Private

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Camelot Drabble word limit prompt: 750

The club was pretty much a success.

Merlin got plenty of attention without any help from Will, who himself had to explain more than once that he wasn’t actually queer, but thanks. Merlin was, objectively speaking, a hot young thing, so he had no shortage of offers for drinks and dances and trips to the men’s. He turned down the booze and the fucks, which Will thought was kind of a shame because he seemed like he needed a bit of both, but he did join man after man in the floor.

Will never let Merlin out of his sight, because taking care of his vulnerable friend meant not looking away even when he was grinding and rubbing himself all over another bloke. And maybe that was all Merlin needed after all. Each time he came back to Will’s side for a glass of water and a check in, he was flushed and grinning, glowing under all the attention.

It was a Merlin Will hadn’t seen in ages, so he considered it a victory even if the only one Merlin went home with was him.

࿋

Of course, he found himself wishing a lot harder that Merlin had found someone when they got back to their place. Because naturally, Arthur fucking Pendragon was waiting at the door, looking lost in more ways than one.

The fancy fucking asshole who acted like he belonged anywhere he wanted to looked out of place in the dim hallway of their low-rent building, even though he’d tried to dress down for inconspicuousness. Will recognized him instantly despite the dark glasses and drawn up hood. Judging by his sudden stillness, Merlin did too.

And even under the glasses, Will could see how Arthur’s expression turned hurt and aching when he caught sight of Merlin. He saw it, but he didn’t give a shit.

“What the fuck do you want?” he demanded, stepping in front of Merlin. “No, scratch that, I don’t care. Get the fuck out.”

“Will,” Merlin said. His voice was tentative but rough; Will heard longing in it, and pain too. It was a good sign that Merlin was talking to him instead of Arthur, at least, but Will didn’t want to give him a chance to change that.

“You’ve got fifteen seconds before I decide if I’m calling the police or the press. Fuck off.”

“Please,” said Arthur, “Merlin. I just need to say something to you, and then you’ll never hear from me again if you don’t want to. I know you don’t owe me anything, but please, just. Just five minutes.”

“Damn right he doesn’t owe you anything,” Will started, stepping forward. He was going to throw Pendragon down the stairs himself, since that seemed to be the only thing that would work.

Merlin stopped him, hand clenching on Will’s shoulder. When Will glanced back, Merlin shook his head. The glow of happiness from the club was gone, faded into the same wan dullness he’d fallen into since the break-up. Arthur had gotten to him, like he always did, and Will cursed himself for not getting rid of him faster.

“Five minutes,” Merlin said, stronger than Will expected. “And Will stays.”

It was better than Will had hoped, so he didn’t argue. Merlin was stubborn and lovesick enough that he’d be more likely to ban Will than Arthur, if pushed. But he let Merlin through the door first, then turned and blocked Arthur’s path before he could enter. Merlin saw what was happening and let it, giving Will time by heading straight for the bathroom.

“Say the wrong thing and I’ll kill you, damn the consequences.”

Arthur leant his shoulder on the doorjamb, hands in his pockets, looking just as arrogant and untouchable as ever. Will wanted very badly to hurt him; it wasn’t a new desire, but it was as strong as it had ever been. Just bash his knuckles into one of those perfect cheekbones and let his makeup team spend a few weeks scrambling to hide it.

To his astonishment, Arthur said, “Good.”

Will raised an eyebrow.

“I know what I’ve already done is unforgivable. I’m not asking for that, just a chance to explain. I don’t want to hurt him again. I’m trying to get myself to a place where I won’t, but I know you won’t let me even if I fail at that. I trust you to look after him more than I trust myself right now. More than I trust him with himself.”


End file.
